When I started this blog I introduced the assignment that was set before me. To finish I come back to the parameters of the final deliverable for this assignment:
As the final blog or voice-thread entry, each student will share their overall reflections and outcomes of what they have learned while enacting their PLDP. This documentation should include not only your own reflections upon what you learned, but also links to the ideas presented in the course literature and your originally outlined PLDP. In addition, it should include a discussion of how you have applied this insight to your work as a scholar-practitioner.
Overall Personal Reflections
There seems to be a common thread that much of what I reflected on was either in relation to my supervision of staff, or my response to the leadership of those above me. I am struck overall that most of my personal development and growth has come in relation to others.
As I look back on readings and discussion board posts for the course, I am really connecting with the ideas of followership, adaptive leadership and distributed leadership. The irony is that I did not choose this group for my group project because in a previous leadership theory class, we spent a great deal of time examining and trying to practice distributed leadership and it left me not particularly keen on the practicality of this model.
Followership and adaptive leadership both look at simultaneous interactions and processes of leaders and followers. The growth edge for me as a supervisor has been, asking myself if I am I leading those I supervise in a way that invites them into followership, and how and in what ways am I constructing opportunities that elevate them into leadership while stepping back a follower. Taking this further adaptive leadership resonated even more when thinking about the evolving relationship and the co-construction and co-existence together not valuing one more than the other. Through my supervisory role this application has looked like me stepping in to assist my Associate Director with advising a particularly troubling student group. By assuming a leadership role in that setting it took pressure off him, he could follow my lead in working with them and over the past 2 months has allowed him to focus on other parts of his role, flourishing as a leader and resource to students. Additionally, with that same person, I have reached out more just in the past two weeks to work with him to bring is skills into a project that is brand new, so that he is co-constructing it with me (along with a small group of 6 others). While I am technically the "leader" in that the end responsibility for implementation is tied to my position, bringing this group in (and him) allows for more buy in, and the ability to highlight the expertise across the department.
As I think about those in leadership above me and my personal development I am struck most by my combination post from weeks 4 & 5 and how I describe essentially living in a heat situation this year. The "leadership above me" that I speak about directly is our VP (not my supervisor, but my supervisor's supervisor) and her Senior staff peers (including our President). As I reflect on my own heat situations I am acutely aware that our VP herself seems to be living in a rather constant state of heat situations: results matter-she is consistently struggling to work with her team effectively to be able to communicate the results we have in a way that they match up with the results that are being asked of her. It is extremely uncomfortable-she is the only woman of color on the senior leadership team, reporting to a white man of extreme familial SES privilege. The combination being led by someone living in a constant state of heat, and then dealing with complex and volatile situations and being in a fluctuating state of heat myself has added more stress than how others may experience the leadership. We read about leadership and identity and authentic leadership and I am struck by my writing on the Week 8 discussion board post and how it aligns with this situation perfectly (excerpt from my post below)
In reflecting on the Sinclair (2011) chapter I think the multiplicity with which she approaches leadership as an identity is striking. There is a realness in the chapter that acknowledges the leaders personal need to develop and craft a leadership identity that aligns with what will engender the followers around them to follow. This authenticity paradox, that they need to craft or create their authentic self as a leader and in the very creation of that leaders identity exemplifies inauthenticity. Further on she mentions leaders committing themselves to a particular version of themselves as leader and then fighting against and rejecting anything or one that doesn't align with this self conceptualization. She also terms this an "enslavement" to the process of creating a leadership identity.
All of this points to a very different and real human struggle associated with becoming a leader; the personal and internal developmental struggles that are associated with the self-discovery and enlightenment for the sake of being able to lead others.
I ask myself how can anyone who is living in state of heat be capable of creating this authentic leadership identity. As I reflect personally for me, I have seen through this blog that when in heat moments or experiences those are the times it is the hardest to focus on the creation of an identity because I default to getting through-no matter how intentional I am being with my personal development. I think through this reflection itself I have also cultivated a bit of empathy for our VP in particular, which appeared in week one of the course as an emerging leadership competency from the Northeastern President, but not one that made my list of top 5 competencies.
Finally, coming back to my objective much of my PLDP was centered on the concept of vertical leadership development and the idea that type indicators are things of the past as the push it toward development competencies. Ironically, 1/3 of my plan (1 of the 3 action bullets) was related to the old stand by-an inventory. Even though the nature of these assessments were based on self and observer feedback related to competency development it was a comfort zone that seemed concrete for me. This was the one bullet as well that I was actually not able to accomplish for a variety of reasons chronicled along the way. Overall there was a bit of learning there that growth and development can be personally structured and assessed without a scale, box, or series of letters telling me where I am. This was exemplified by my discussions with late stage mentors, which was a tactic specific to vertical leadership development. While the feedback did not put me into a "type" it did allow me to see my place in the journey and how to re-frame my perspectives by those that had a more developed leadership path. A component of that PLDP was also conscious engagement which CCL described as elevated sense making or meditation and mindfulness to re-pattern your mind. While I chose to follow along the vertical leadership suggestion of meditation & nutrition to consciously engage, I think more than that practice the act of taking time to reflect became conscious engagement for me. Having a dedicated reason with the accountability to look at these things and having to connect them to coursework really has enhanced my personal awareness and understanding of my on-going development. I suspect that was the entire point of this assignment and exercise, so I will leave this final reflection with that. Time for reflection and dedication to personal meaning making and growth is often the first thing to get dropped when busy-there is so much deliverable work to be done and deadlines to meet and tasks to be accomplished that I know I don't focus on myself, consistently or meaningfully. And the concept behind vertical leadership development is taking the responsibility for this development away from organizations or supervisors and placing it with the individual. I am reminded that in order to help others you need to help yourself first; one of the best ways to help myself is by allowing myself the time and space to focus on my development.
Sinclair, A. (2011). Being leaders: Identities and identity work in leadership. In A. Bryman, D. Collinson, K. Grint, B. Jackson, & M. Uhl-Bien (Eds.). SAGE Handbook of Leadership (508-518). Los Angeles, CA: SAGE Publications.